Well to start this story I have to take you back a few years to when Tad first told me he loved me. It was a horrible situation because I was dating his best friend at the time, Jack. I completely blew Tad off and didn’t think anything of it because I was with Jack and Tad should have known that I wouldn’t cheat or leave Jack. So before Tad left for the Air Force he left me my first love letter. (Which I still have) While he was in boot camp we wrote back and forth about everything. I was his lifeline and one of the only people who kept in contact with him. I told Tad in a letter that Jack and I had broken up and he replied back about how this would be our chance. Needless to say by the time Tad came home I was back with Jack. Tad and I went out on one date but my heart wasn’t in it so I ended things after the date. Tad was crushed and could barely speak to me.
Now we fast forward about a year and I started to receive the letters again. Jack and I were still together but I continued to write to Tad who was now stationed on the east coast. About a year later I found out that Jack, who was living with me at the time, was cheating on me. He would leave our bed at like 9pm and claim to be going to his church to set up for youth group or making lessons for it. He was actually going to meet up with an underage girl from his youth group. Tad was there for me through the breakup and even though Jack was his best friend took my side. Tad and I increased our conversations over the next year. Talking on the phone, making plans for me to come stay with him and how we would be married.
From Tad: “im sorry for everything i have ever done to you. I was all fucked up the last time we saw each other. I was stupid back then and im paying for it know. you are always on my mind i cant get you out of my head. You are the only girl for me you will always be the only girl for me. I love you so much i want to marry you and spend the rest of my days trying to make you happy. Im done with this single life done with playing games with these chicken head girls. My dad once told me to find the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with and hold on to her forever, for me that girl is you. If you never want to talk to me again i will understand i have been an asshole to you and I deserve what i get.”
That following September I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and had to begin chemo… Tad was MIA in my life.
For a little perspective here is an email to Tad from Me
“I started to really fall for you and you pushed me away> You didnt text me back you didnt even seem to care that I was pouring my heart out to you. What do you want me to say... I feel like it would be easier if I said I hated you and had no feelings for you and that you blew every chance I would ever give you. But it would be a lie... I am so hurt that you didnt even see me and you were here for 2 weeks. I waited to hear from you everynight and I went to 211 hopping you would show up and nothing. You didnt make an effort. I feel like I am so stupid for even still caring about you at all. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST THAT WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE.”
He responded:
“Hey Idk
what's your deal. Keep playing your childish games keep playing this BS game
where I'm the bad Guy but it takes 2 to tango don't forget how u left Me for my
best friend I'm free of you're curse and burdon so fuck off and die along
because you desrve everything you get cause your a heartless soulless bitch how
stomps on guys heart piss off”
You would think this is where the story ends but you would be wrong.
Fast forward to this last September (2011) I was dating Chuck a married man who claimed to be separated but his wife had just poked her head into our relationship and claimed she “wanted to give her family another chance” and out of nowhere Tad send me a letter. He had been deployed to Qatar and claimed that even though we had not spoken in a year he missed me. “Hey how are you I'm sorry about last time we talked. I'm not working any angle I just wanted to see how u are and see if there is anyway we can just be friends again I hope you are well and if I don't hear from you I hope your doing well” I took the chance and started to text and write to Tad one more time. I had hurt him and he had hurt me but we had never really given each other a chance. Meanwhile Chuck and I breakup and Tad and I start planning for his trip home in February for my birthday. I fall head first back into our old habits. He writes to me “I miss you more and more everyday.” “You’re the only reason why I am making it through this (the deployment) I can’t wait to see you again you always make my days so much better” “You are the best thing that ever happened to me” this continues till he arrives state side in January.
The next thing I hear from him is that he isn’t coming home for my birthday but will try for the end of February. Then the next thing I hear after a week of silence is that he isn’t coming home at all. He doesn’t say anything to me on my birthday and all he says on Valentines Day is hope all is well… And then conveniently he posts on Facebook yesterday that he is “in a relationship” with some girl. I am pissed and call him a liar and he says “I am not a liar what I said was true I’m not saving myself and being alone for the next however long” I reply back about how he used me to get through a difficult time and just blew me off when life got easy and his response back was “Whatever Im sorry I am happy and your not”
Here are my thoughts on this and then the rant will be over I swear.
Number 1 if I were “the one” then wouldn’t you think he would have the decency to give me a heads up on the dating other people thing before he tells Facebook?
And Number 2 Has the word love completely lost all meaning?
How is girl supossed to find the right guy when even the wrong guy has the right words??
You would think this is where the story ends but you would be wrong.
Fast forward to this last September (2011) I was dating Chuck a married man who claimed to be separated but his wife had just poked her head into our relationship and claimed she “wanted to give her family another chance” and out of nowhere Tad send me a letter. He had been deployed to Qatar and claimed that even though we had not spoken in a year he missed me. “Hey how are you I'm sorry about last time we talked. I'm not working any angle I just wanted to see how u are and see if there is anyway we can just be friends again I hope you are well and if I don't hear from you I hope your doing well” I took the chance and started to text and write to Tad one more time. I had hurt him and he had hurt me but we had never really given each other a chance. Meanwhile Chuck and I breakup and Tad and I start planning for his trip home in February for my birthday. I fall head first back into our old habits. He writes to me “I miss you more and more everyday.” “You’re the only reason why I am making it through this (the deployment) I can’t wait to see you again you always make my days so much better” “You are the best thing that ever happened to me” this continues till he arrives state side in January.
The next thing I hear from him is that he isn’t coming home for my birthday but will try for the end of February. Then the next thing I hear after a week of silence is that he isn’t coming home at all. He doesn’t say anything to me on my birthday and all he says on Valentines Day is hope all is well… And then conveniently he posts on Facebook yesterday that he is “in a relationship” with some girl. I am pissed and call him a liar and he says “I am not a liar what I said was true I’m not saving myself and being alone for the next however long” I reply back about how he used me to get through a difficult time and just blew me off when life got easy and his response back was “Whatever Im sorry I am happy and your not”
Here are my thoughts on this and then the rant will be over I swear.
Number 1 if I were “the one” then wouldn’t you think he would have the decency to give me a heads up on the dating other people thing before he tells Facebook?
And Number 2 Has the word love completely lost all meaning?
How is girl supossed to find the right guy when even the wrong guy has the right words??
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